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Messy Humans

Being human can be messy.

Figuring out and untangling programming can be difficult. Applying healthy boundaries can be scary. Holding space for someone while they are in the middle of their trigger can be uncomfortable.

But these things are greatly needed for the continuation and expansion of the human race.

We need to be able to connect more.

Communicate more.

Safely rest in our truth and vulnerability more.

These things can be healing.

I recently had a falling out with a dear friend (we resolved things) but in the middle of that falling out, I recognized I had a choice.

I could hold resentment at how things were handled. I could walk away and just let this person lash out and project their own stuff. I could take their constructive criticism and then wipe my hands clean.

Or I could hold space for their humanness.

This person didn’t feel safe applying a boundary with me. They felt disrespected by something I did/said, and instead of opening dialogue, they bottled it up. And then many months later, the anger all came up at once while in trigger.

While that arguably wasn’t the healthiest or best way to handle the situation.. (and that was acknowledged by them) ..they are learning, too.

Just like me.

Just like you.

Just like everyone else.

Our woundings bled into each other, and we hurt each other.. and that required us to step out of our comfort zone and into concious conflict.

Consciously untangling that together took an incredible amount of integrity and grit on both of our parts. We both had to face uncomfortable truths about ourselves, advocate for ourselves, and create space for each other.

Concious conflict is DIFFICULT.

We held space and grace for each other through each other’s shortcomings. And we grew THROUGH the conflict, together.

I’m genuinely proud to call this human my friend. I love them very deeply. I’m grateful for the profound lessons and growth and even contrast I’ve experienced with them.

And I’m okay with creating space for them to be real and raw and messy...

The space to be human.

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